Here is a glimpse of my general morning routine:
5.35am - 6am: Scream into the abyss
6am - 7am: Stalking people I knew from high school on Social Media until I almost cry at my own lack of success
7am: Down a coffee and run out the door
This morning, things went a little differently. This extremely healthy and productive morning routine was ruined by one thing - Instagram and Facebook are down.
Which means I spent an hour actually doing real-world things and let me tell you, I didn't like it. My entire vocabulary has been created by memes, my entire life is dependent on that shitty gratification you get from shitposting on the internet.
Stage One: DENIAL
Oh my god - are we going to have to go outside? I think - and I cannot stress this enough - not. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.
Stage Two: ANGER
I swear to god Instagram breaks down more than i do— jamie corbett (@justjamiie) March 13, 2019
Stage Three: BARGAINING
Stage Four: DEPRESSION
People who make their living off of social media have the day off, and it makes me sad. No more free vacations and selling fit teas from taking selfies. The true millennial dream comes crumbling down.
I wonder what all the IG models are doing today on their off day— Gabriel Zamora (@gabrielzamora) March 13, 2019
Stage Five: ACCEPTANCE
Soulja Boy has offered an alternative I am happy to accept. I have come to realise that Soulja Boy is more important to me than I originally thought. In this world, you either crank that soulja boy or it cranks you 🙏
Wtf is wrong with Instagram shit not working oh well time to make my own app 🤷🏾♂️— Soulja Boy (@souljaboy) March 13, 2019
Oh wow the entire Facebook is down? That’s it I’m going to make a new social media network right now! This is unacceptable y’all have too much money for this smh 🤦🏾♂️— Soulja Boy (@souljaboy) March 13, 2019
While you wait for socials to return, hit up our AfterPay sale and cop some streetwear.