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The Best 'Avengers: Infinity War' Recap EVER

The Best 'Avengers: Infinity War' Recap EVER

You have got to be in the minority of the world's population if you haven't seen 'Avengers: Infinity War' yet. Although everyone is talking about it, no one quite gets it like Instagram user Casey Lawrence (@leanandcuisine) in a series of posts that hilariously dissect the main characters. 

Infinity War Spoiler Alert: Dat boy Thanos Mayweather. Serving all the hands. Bruh ate hulk punches like light work and then retired his ass for the whole movie. Had that man hulk chilling inside Bruce like “maybe anger isn’t the way.” How you smack hulk ass so hard that he ain’t even wanna come out no more, and Thanos didn’t even have to be around, that man hulk was shook. Ain’t want no more hands from anyone after that beating, said avengers assemble my ass y’all ain’t see what that nigga did to me? That ass whooping turned that man peaceful. Dat boy Thanos Bourne. Damaged iron mans suit with straight hands, got to denting that shit up like a Pepsi can. I deadass though he killed black panther with that hook, they might as well had let killmonger stay the king cause I know they ain’t want T’challa to be king just for him to get slapped up like that and then turned into some dust. Talking bout some Wakanda forever, he shut that shit down real quick. Nigga pulled up, beat niggas asses then cremated em. Dat boy Thanos Wick.

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: Even Marvel know the power of the D. Shorty knew where one of the Infinity Stones was but ain’t want to say nothing cause she wanted to spare her sucker ass boyfriend and you see what happened.... she got clapped. The D will get you clapped. They coulda went to the location of the stone, realized it would’ve required a great sacrifice and threw in Hawkeye, but that might not have been enough cause don’t nobody love him. This man Thanos really teared up and was like “You know imma have to clap you right... dis shit tragic but imma need that stone sooooooo.......” bruh made his daughter think her boyfriend would have to shoot her and then turned the bullets into some bubbles... that man sense of humor childish as hell. He a real life internet troll.

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: The OG, this man be working, every movie he got a new suit. That boy Tony Schwarzenegger be ready for the fade. Had a new suit for Peter which flew to his ass damn near in space. Bruh said that suit ain’t finna do it G, I gotchu let me just hit the plug....oh wait....das me. Honestly he had the right idea, bruh said destroy the stone or hide it, which is the first thing anyone would think to do, but strange was on some nutty shit. Niggas was tripping that whole movie, it’s almost like they wanted Thanos to get them stones but peter and tony was like nahhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s dead. This movie proves some women don’t be caring bout shit but what they want. Pepper talking bout some come home right now! ........Tf home he finna come to if Thanos get them stones? Huh? Tell me that pepper. How long you expect to be married with kids before Thanos come and clap both y’all cheeks. She really was in the crib like let them other niggas get slumped, you get ya ass back home tho.... selfish.... just selfish. She basically frozone wife from incredibles, they the same person. My man had to fight for that greater good. Boy I shed a real nigga tear when Thanos stabbed him. I was like nahhhhhhhhhhhh not my boy tony!!!!! Not him!!!! Take that nigga Hawkeye, kill him wherever he at! But not tony! If they would’ve killed off tony Stan Lee was gon have to see me for that fair one.

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: Okoye and Natasha aint got no type of powers and be beating the shit out of niggas like it’s just everyday work. On my Muva these two did more work on the field than T’challa and Cap but that ain’t even surprising, I knew Okoye was bout all the action the second she was willing to kill her man for the king like “Try me if you want to slim but I wouldn’t advise it.” I ain’t gon hold you tho, if Okoye would have died I woulda walked out that theatre and started working on an r and b tape just to power through it. Her face when T’challa turned into some dust was heartbreaking tho,” did dis my king just disintegrate in front of me.” That shit was sad cause her face was like she couldn’t even process what the hell just happened. Okoye be serving hands with her glossy head. Natasha been beating the shit out aliens for like 10 movies now, they got big dog status it ain’t no secret.

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THIS MAN HERE!!!!! THIS MAN THOR RAMBO! This man is the damn MVP of that whole movie. Nigga said oh you killed my brother... just wait... just wait. Imma beat da shit out yo ass for that one slim. Went out to get a new weapon just to slap Thanos with and it failed and the only way was to get it was almost suicide. Bruh said fuck it we doing it, that nigga Thanos gonna have to see me. Took on the energy of a whole star just to run Thanos fade. Thor wanted all of the smoke, every last bit of it. He was not playing with that man. He said Thanos I promise you you gon run me my fade, I promise imma slap the shit out your ass. Bruh came on the battlefield slapping niggas around like pish posh then lobbed his hammer through Thanos chest. If he had went for the head he could’ve ended it.... by his damn self. Don’t sleep on my boy Thor!!! Dat boy Thor Balboa! Thor Gaye , this man almost clapped Gamora cheeks right in front of star lord. Dat boy Thor got da sauce, he da sauce boss.

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: This man opened up wakanda to outsiders just to get his ass whooped and turnt to dust. I just know if I lived in Wakanda I would’ve been planning a mutiny cause this man was tripping. Talking bout some “get this man a shield,” he said that like Captain America was gon step outside and get to clapping everybody on that field. Boy they got pieced up with the quickness the second they stepped out that base. That man Thanos Bond smacked T’challa one clean time and took awey da strength of da black panther. After that hook from Thanos Lee I know his ass was like “Wakanda shit is dis, I should’ve just let Killmonger have all dis.” That boy Thanos Tyson showed up like “Wakanda forever dese nuts.” He gon say “this is no place to die” and then die. Nigga contradicted himself in just 2 seconds. Niggas are incredible

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: ..................................................................................................................................................dis man here. If this ain’t the most pussy whipped nigga idk who is. Dis the nigga who on your squad on fortnite and he end up doing some dummy shit and the whole team get smacked. So much shit could’ve been avoided, so many lives spared, and dis salty ass nigga just had get a combo in right fucking then, couldn’t wait a good minute for niggas to get the gauntlet off Thanos, couldn’t wait one fucking minute. Coulda pieced Thanos up till hearts content after they got that jont off him but nah. He needa he benched in the next movie, he out da game for that one, everybody needs just take turns going to his body. He shoulda just let Thor get in Gamora buns and roll with him cause she’d prolly be still be alive..

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Infinity War Spoiler Alert: Bruh... when I tell you wasn’t nobody taking Ls like this nigga here. Boy they was at this dude neck the whole movie. Just clapping him up in the worst ways. Gave his ass no time to rest. “oh you thought you was finna recuperate? Guess again nigga.” They was just shanking this man up like they was in prison and he snitched. The worst part to me was the stone was warning him beforehand and his shorty gon scan the joint say “all I feel is you”. The stone in this man head like “Bitch! This nigga is about to get clapped tf is you talking bout!? Get this nigga tf outta here!” Cuz just wanted to spend the rest of his life with his shorty and not only died by her cause they ain’t have a choice, dis nigga Thanos brought him back just to clap him again for the 2-peat. How you double kill one nigga. They ain’t have to do my dawg like that.

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INFINITY WAR SPOILER ALERT: Man if this ain’t the fakest nigga in the marvel universe. This nigga got the fuck. He ain’t even fight Thanos, he fought that mans minions and was like “imma go head and step back to the crib, y’all look like y’all got this.” Ain’t even help try to help his mans Strange, bruh said at the beginning of the movie he got to protect the time stone at all cost and was like “I mean shit happen” as soon as strange got took. Disloyal ass. Thanos musta put the fear in this man cause he said fuck my duties, cuz ain’t come back for the whole movie and tried to feed us some bullshit like “I gotta protect the crib cause ain’t nobody there” boy fucking Thanos coming to collect the stones that he can use to wipe out the damn universe, wasn’t nobody fucking with that damn crib. This man skidaddled the fuck up out of there for no reason.

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Header image sourced from ScreenRant.com


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